I missed @bell_letstalk day because well things have been hard. So better late than never, let’s talk! ⬇️
I absolutely love love LOVE being a mom, it’s all I ever wanted in life, but it’s hard right now with the depression, anxiety, a baby who’s got severe colic and reflux, and a toddler who’s always wrapped around my legs. It makes replying to texts, and seeing my friends almost non existent.
I think what makes me feel my worst is when people keep saying to me that “it’s just baby blues”, “she’s just a baby don’t be upset with her”, “it can’t be that bad”, “just think positive”, “my baby cries when she’s tired and hungry too”, “it’ll be over soon “ or asking me when I’m having a boy/ another one. It feels like a slap in the face, when people brush it off like it’s nothing, when they don’t actually know what it’s like to deal with a baby that purple cries the entire time they’re awake, having to bounce your baby while you cook, clean, eat and even use the washroom. I envy the people that have that typical happy content new baby that cries for just the basic needs. I grieve the fact that I never got to experience that and I never will.
After setting myself up for failure again and having another inconsolable baby, I’m done having kids. I’m not sure why some people think I’m being funny and that I’m joking about it when I couldn’t be any more serious. This summer I plan to get tubal ligation done because it’s been exhausting, infuriating, and frustrating, so much so that at times I feel numb to the crying and blank out.
I am in no means complaining about having kids, I truly love it, it is so rewarding. I tend to always post the good moments as a reminder for myself that it’ll get better, but I also like to share my journey during the low moments as I know there’s many others going through the same tough time that Devin and I are right now. So please refrain from making those remarks as it really does take a toll on my mental health. Thank you❤️